Spiritual Training for Singles
Many of us find it challenging to see the purpose in seasons of waiting. We believe that God is good, but we don’t always agree that He is fair. Singleness is often an opportune time for comparison and questioning to sneak in. It can be difficult to understand God’s plan in the waiting, so we turn to comparing our lives to others and asking the well-known question of “why God?” The single season can be one of the most beneficial times of your life if you allow God to work in His timing. It’s a unique portion that allows you to examine yourself spiritually and physically. Many of us stay in a single season because we simply aren’t ready to merge our lives with someone else. God has the ability to make us wait, in order to prevent us from leaning into temporary satisfaction that can cause heartache later on.
“Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last; but we do it to get a crown that will last forever. Therefore, I do not run like a man running aimlessly; I do not fight like a man beating the air.” (1 Corinthians 9:25-2, New International Version).
As Christians we are called to work our spiritual muscles. Our lives are filled with weak areas that are just waiting to be isolated and exercised through our struggles, experiences, and relationships. The single season is a perfect time for training. Each of us have weak areas in our lives that need a little bit of refining. Too many women allow their single season to be in vain by spending their time questioning God’s plan and authority. Instead, capitalize on this time set aside by God, and use this time to get in the spiritual and physical gym to exercise those areas and muscle groups that need a little bit of training. Below are a few areas that you might need training in during your single season.
Being single is a great time to get closer to God. Begin establishing an unwavering relationship with Him, now, before you involve someone else. Learn how to pray, establish a habit of reading your Bible, begin examining what you believe, and have a firm understand of who you are in Christ. Relationships are a magnifying glass. As you get closer to someone there are weaknesses that are brought to light in a new way. You become vulnerable and insecurities that you would have never expected begin to show. This is an inevitable fact, but establishing a firm relationship with God before jumping into a dating relationship is the best way to create a healthy and God-glorifying relationship.
The most important lesson that can be learned during the single season is contentment. Establishing a strong relationship with God won’t necessarily bring you your dream guy. But establishing a relationship with God will ensure contentment and satisfaction in the time and place that He has placed you in. As you get closer to God and lean into His presence you will begin to become satisfied in any season He puts you. A new relationship might not be the answer to your discontentment or the solution to your problem. In fact it could just make matters worse. Use this season to learn one of the most valuable lessons, the ability to be content. Create muscle memory when it comes to contentment. Allowing God to make you content in singleness will give you an understanding of how to be content through any circumstance.
“I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all things through Him who gives me strength.” (Philippians 4:12-13, NIV).
As a young girl I often received the advice of making a “husband list.” Friends, family and Christian books encouraged me to pray and seek God about what kind of man He would have for me. This seeking involved creating a tangible written list with the qualities that I was looking for in a husband. Naturally I wrote down colored eyes and athletic build, along with leadership qualities and an ability to fix anything. Until one very single Valentine’s day when I was guided to write a “Me list.” This was my turn to seek God concerning who He wanted me to be. I began to write down a list of my strengths and weaknesses. After making this list I isolated the weaknesses and the strengths that I saw in my life. Now that I’m in a relationship I have seen the fruition of those hard spiritual work outs. There were a lot of heart issues that would have made my relationship very difficult, but God showed me grace and helped me work through a portion of them that could have been detrimental to my relationship. I want to encourage each of you single and dating women to seek God, write down your strengths and weaknesses, and make a “Me” list. We put a lot of pressure on finding men worthy of our hearts and not enough on making ourselves women worthy of theirs.