Security in Marriage

    Marriage comes with several unwarranted feelings of inadequacy, clumsiness and even loneliness. Overcoming these feelings can feel like trying to walk on water, all while asking God to save us from drowning.

We are focusing on the wrong things.

 Rather than concentrating on subsiding to these feelings, let us instead keep our eyes on Jesus and listen to His encouraging words.

    “By now it was dark, and Jesus had not yet joined them. A strong wind was blowing and the waters grew rough. When they had rowed about three or four miles, they saw Jesus approaching the boat, walking on the water; and they were frightened.” (John 6:16-19, New International Version)

    In the midst of raging winds on the sea, God identifies Himself and calms it. Jesus was just walking by, but seeing their fear, he stopped to not only calm them but their situation as well. 

    “Immediately he spoke to them and said, ‘Take courage! It is I. Don’t be afraid.’ Then he climbed into the boat with them, and the wind died down.” (Mark 6:50-51, NIV)

    Jesus wants to be near to us through the storms of our lives and wants us to allow him to calm not only every feeling of fear that overcomes us, but our situations causing the fear as well.

    We don't have to feel like we aren’t rising to culture’s expectations of what a wife should be and do. There are days where we need to leave the makeup on the bathroom sink, days we need to call for takeout rather than cook and days where we just need to breathe. Taking that step back, however, can cause us to feel we aren't rising to the occasion for our husbands.

    I can promise you that your husband wants you to be happy and if that means letting things go unperfected for a day, then so be it.

    “There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment.” (1 John 4:18, NIV) 

    Don’t punish yourself by allowing untruthful feelings sneak in and claim your joy in marriage.

    Clumsiness is nothing new to people in general, but wives sometimes have it hard causing the smallest upset to be a big ordeal. You accidentally wash your husbands favorite white shirt with your red sweater, you drop the chicken on the floor ruining dinner plans for the night or you can’t find your husbands phone charger that you borrowed last week.

    Feeling clumsy in marriage brings on an influx of emotions, one being fear. Fear your husband will get mad and fear you can’t fix the problem at hand.

    But God calls us out upon the water to join in His security. He reaches out His hand to us.

    “Lord, if it’s you,’ Peter replied, ‘tell me to come to you on the water.’ ‘Come,’ he said. Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus.” (Matthew 14:28-29, NIV)

    Walking on water toward Jesus is only part of what we can do to feel secure; we must also reach out to Him and trust Him to keep us from sinking in our feelings. When we are feeling lonely in a world full of family and friends, you can know that God is right there with you.

    “But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, ‘Lord, save me!’ Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. ‘You of little faith,’ he said, ‘why did you doubt?” (Matthew 14:30-31, NIV)

    Taking God’s hand is the best thing we can do for ourselves and those around us. We must keep our focus on Him and believe we are good enough for not only Him, but for our husbands as well. We, as wives, are treasured…even when we fear we are messing up.

    “Your wife will be like a fruitful vine within your house.” (Psalm 128:3, NIV)

    Just remember, you are a Provers 31:10 wife of noble character, you are “worth far more than rubies.”


    Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV® Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.


WomanhoodKayla Elder