The Hum

I heard something, a whoosh, a hum, a vibration. 

An incessant pinging that has become a beacon. 

Breathing in deeply I feel the hum.  

Did my ears just imagine it? 

Before I know it, I am standing and pacing around my small one room home. 

The dirt floors begin to hold a carved-out path, as dust falls like rain in the streams of sun that breaks through the cracks in the broken roof. 

This place is familiar and with each step I fall further into my thoughts. 

The hum gets louder and my focus is drawn to its source. 

I find it so difficult to sift through all the stuff and I easily get distracted.  

I can hear the hum, it’s guiding me toward it. 

I search around, I squint and then open my eyes wider. 

It grows quiet. 

I stop looking, I stop seeking the hum. 

I become disoriented, looking left to right, up and down. 

A suffocating feeling grips my chest. 

Which way is right, good, safe? 

How do I get back to the hum? 

Where did it go? 

Or did it go? 

I search until I am weary and unfocused. 

I lay down. 

I surrender I can’t find it. 

The hum is lost to me. 

I am at the end of me. 

I give up control. 

And then I hear it, the whoosh. 

The hum is back. 

It is loud and overpowering. 

It is all I hear. 

I am no longer searching, I have found the source and it is Him – it was Him all along. 

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