One Decision, New Outlook

I am a movie and book buff. I don’t actually know if the second is a thing, but I just made it one. I love books. I love movies. I love when books are meticulously and precisely made into movies. One of my more recent book/movie loves is “Me Before You.” Anyone who knows me knows, I should’ve been born British and Louisa Clark, the main protagonist in “Me Before You” is, well, me. 

The reason I love this book so much is because it is about a simple girl whose life completely changes with one decision. As you watch her story unfold, she flounders at most things as she tries to regain her balance only to have the rug ripped back out from under her again and again. The actual storyline holds much more drama than that simple explanation, but I feel I can relate to a simple girl who finds herself floundering in life. 

I have a tendency to believe that at some point we have all made choices that lead us to outcomes we never foresaw or that seemingly never even lead us to an outcome but leave us hanging in the balance, not knowing what will happen next. 

A little over three years ago, I made the decision to uproot my small-town life in the middle of nowhere Ohio and move to Atlanta, Georgia to work in the film industry. I am pretty sure for the first six months, I cried every day and couldn’t believe the Lord let me dream something so big, because this was simply never going to work. Similar to our leading lady, I started to find my footing only to end up jobless, without a relationship, friendless, and in my dramatically over the top mind, completely and utterly alone. 

How could the Lord do this to me? How could he give me a dream and leave me? How could I be so stupid to think I could make it on my own? How? How? How?

Looking back, maybe I should’ve become an actress instead, because I certainly have a flare for the dramatic! How many of us have felt like that? How many of us have gained enough courage to change our lives or fulfill our dreams only to quickly realize it is a scam and we are wildly unequipped?

I know this might sound like the cheesy bible school answer, but I remember sitting down one day, picking up the bible, and simply praying. ‘Lord, I have departed from everything I know, and I am alone, I don’t even feel you. Please show me something.’ To my pity party dismay, the Lord showed me something; He showed me the Israelites, Abraham and Sarah, Job, David, Daniel, Ruth…He showed me He has given countless examples of people in absolutely unimaginable situations who did the exact same thing as me. They stepped out from the known, questioned, tried running back or running somewhere, feeling alone, and ultimately realizing there was no place to run. He placed this opportunity in my life, in their lives, in your life, and He will not leave us. 

When I finally took that step back and saw how unconditionally loved I was and blessed I was, I saw the joy in my situation. I saw the faith it took to step out and how proud I could be of myself for doing that. To stop overanalyzing and believing I couldn’t do it and just live.

The Lord undoubtedly uses little things to accomplish great plans, so that means He uses big things to accomplish unfathomable ones. God is always working - when we are still, when we are moving, at all times. If we simply take a step back and refocus, we can see the miracles happening every day. 

Just like Louisa Clark, we cannot always see what is about to happen or know what decision we are going to make next, but we can certainly know, that no matter what, the Lord will be right beside us the entire time.

“You only get one life. It’s actually your duty to live it as fully as possible.”

(Me Before You, Moyes)

Moyes, Jojo. Me Before You. Penguin Books. 2013.

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