Dear Single Ladies
Dear Single Ladies,
There is nothing wrong with you. You are not unworthy or invaluable. I know you might not want to hear from yet another married lady about being single, but please hear me out.
You are not a step behind in life because you aren’t married any more than I’m a step behind in life because I don’t have children. There are no steps. There are seasons and life paths and decisions and goals and preferences, all unique and specific for everyone. None are more or less important than the other, no one is falling behind because they haven’t checked off all the boxes. And every season can be enjoyed and teach you valuable lessons.
I loved being single. I loved having my own apartment, coming and going without anyone to notice and spending money when and how I wanted. I loved those years of focusing on my relationship with God. Those are the years when I truly met Him, got to know Him personally and learned that He is enough for me.
And I love being married. I love getting to share my life with my husband and knowing I have someone to go home to every day. I love having someone to help shoulder stress and finances. I love having someone to laugh and enjoy life with. And in the two years I’ve been married, I have learned so much about God and how much He loves when we express love to one another.
I can’t say that one season has been better than the other, both have simply been a different kind of wonderful. And I can’t say that both have been perfect with nothing but happiness and contentment; both have come with their own struggles and adjustments. But both have been a valuable place for me to see the Love of God when I look for Him and learn more about who He has created me to be. Both have held their own kind of joy when I have taken the time to let God tell me that He has me in each specific season of life for a reason.
And He does the same for you too.
I know people are probably always telling you that you need to enjoy being single because you’ll miss it one day. And maybe that’s true for them. But it isn’t for me, because I took the time to find the value in those days and I have done the same in marriage. You should enjoy your single days, not because you’ll desperately miss them if you get married one day, but because you should enjoy every season of your life.
Whether you want to get married someday but not any time soon, never want to get married, or you want to be married now but Mr. Right just hasn’t come along yet, you can find joy in this season if you ask God to show you Himself and His hand at work in your life.
Now is the time to get to know God more than ever. Now is the time to get to know yourself more than ever. Let God tell you who you are because of Him. Learn that God is truly enough for you and all that you need. Let Him tell you that you are Loved and cherished because you are His child. You don’t need a man to “complete” you if you learn now that your identity lies in the presence and Love of God. You will be a better wife to your future husband if you aren’t looking for him to save you, complete you, validate you, or constantly fill you. You will be able to love your husband in a healthy and authentic way when you are being filled daily with the presence of God and finding your identity in Him, then letting the gift that marriage is be an overflow of the Love of God.
When you truly allow the Love of God to flood your heart and see that who you are is because of Him, you will be able to see every good gift that He gives you for what it is, an overflow of His Love and grace, instead of trying to make it fill an emptiness in you that only God can.
Sometimes the days may feel lonely. You may have days when you feel unworthy or undesirable. But it is in those moments you can run into the arms of a Father who loves you wholeheartedly and let Him whisper that you are beautiful because you are made in His image. You are valuable because you are a child of God and worthy of Love because Jesus died on the cross because He Loves you. You are complete when you are wrapped up in God’s presence. And you are in exactly the season that is right for you right now.
Cheering you on,