The Importance of Community in Marriage

 Feeling alone is something we all can attest to at times, especially when we are in fact sitting in an empty room with nothing but our thoughts to keep us company. Even when God is there with us (because He always is), it is still hard to not feel as though we are missing something, as though our purpose is not being fulfilled. God does not expect us to do this thing called life alone. Of course we have our husbands, who are often considered best friends….but that is just one person. We need more, we need a community of people.

“Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up.” (Ecclesiastes 4:9-10, New International Version)

God calls us to be in community with others and find purpose in that calling. 

 “Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves.” (Ecclesiastes 4:12, NIV)

You can overcome your loneliness, and others, by simply being together. How neat is that? We can combat this thing called being alone by joining with others one day at a time. We are not only called to live alongside others, but with others - truly making it a point to know them and to allow them to know us.

“And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.” (Hebrews 10:24-25, NIV)

It is quite easy to lose sight of being in community with others once we get married. Life gets busy, especially with added responsibility. Don’t forget those that have been placed in your life that also need community.

“But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up. Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone?” (Ecclesiastes 4:10-11, NIV)

While growth can come from one-on-one time with God, it is with others that we are able to outpour the love God has given us and have others pour into us. So what community are we called into. Let Jesus lead by example: there are two groups of people we are to build relationships with.

The believer and nonbeliever.

“How good and pleasant it is when God’s people live together in unity!” (Psalm 133:1, NIV)

Having a core group of those who can keep you accountable, who you can confide in and who you can grow spiritually with is vital to knowing your identity in Christ.

“As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.” (Proverbs 27:17, NIV)

Just as Jesus chose His 12 disciples to be his “small group,” so we too should find a group of individuals in the same likeness.

And the other group we are called to be in community with? Everyone outside the walls of the Church. Jesus walked alongside beggars, lepers, harlots and tax collectors. Not to say your friend group or community should consist of the untouchables of our time, but everyone sins.

“While Jesus was having dinner at Levi’s house, many tax collectors and sinners were eating with him and his disciples, for there were many who followed him. When the teachers of the law who were Pharisees saw him eating with the sinners and tax collectors, they asked his disciples: “Why does he eat with tax collectors and sinners?’ (Mark 2:15-16, NIV)

We should befriend all, for who knows how God plans to use the relationship for the Glory of His name and ultimately our overall purpose in life. Being intentional in our relationships with others is as easy as a text message, call or short drive away. Finding your purpose in community is freeing and your identity in Christ is sure to grow through the strong relationships built along the way.

“A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.” (Ecclesiastes 4:12, NIV)


Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV® Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.


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WomanhoodKayla Elder