Rejection is not your Identity

   Rejection is something that every woman has experienced. From the most confident of women, to the most insecure young lady; no one is exempt. The root of rejection is a lack of understanding. A lack of understanding in who you are, who God has called you to be, and what your purpose is in life. Rejection can come from any form of relationship whether it’s an acquaintance, a close friend, a boyfriend, a parent, a teacher, anyone we come in contact with.  The only way to overcome and prevent this encompassing feeling is to go back to the root of your identity and replace what the world says about you with what the word says about you. There are different types of rejection in every season of life. Single, dating, friendships, and marriages can bring about different forms. 

“Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.” (Proverbs 31:30, New International Version)

Rejection in Singleness

During the single season we often feel rejected due to surface level concerns. When women have a time of not receiving praise about their physical appearance or feel that guys aren’t giving them enough attention they tend to correlate it with outside characteristics. Too often I find myself concerned about my weight, how my hair looks, if my face is breaking out, or if the clothes I’m wearing adequately represent me. We crave the attention of men so that we can feel wanted and accepted. There are too many women running around looking for love in the wrong places because they associate their acceptance and identity with the way they look on the outside. It might surprise you that the body you are dissatisfied with, the genetic make-up you wish you could change, and the discouragement that you are feeling is not an accurate representation of God’s design for you. God does not make mistakes. He did not create a body that is not pleasing to Him. Our physical appearance might not match up with that of this world or the standards that society sets because God’s definition of beauty was never meant to satisfy the world’s cravings for unreachable expectations. 

“For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful I know that full well.” (Psalm 139: 12-14, NIV)

Rejection in Relationships

    Close relationships often brew rejection due to intimacy. Friendships, dating relationships, and marriages cause us to open up to people in a very unique way. When we are rejected by these people, whether directly or indirectly, the hurt cuts deeper than shallow relationships because we have greater expectations for these people. When a friend turns on us, a boyfriend doesn’t make us a priority, or a husband doesn’t make us feel wanted and loved we are quick to make rejection our identity. These hurts, no matter how big become rooted within us. When we lack the understanding of God’s love we allow rejection and offense to rule our lives. In moments of relational rejection, we need to recall who we are in Christ and what our purpose is. If we understand God’s loyalty is so much greater than any friend, and if we understand that God’s attentiveness lasts longer than any boyfriend, and if we understand that God’s love and acceptance is so much deeper than any husband, then rejection won’t shake us or penetrate our hearts when people we give high expectations to fail.

“One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.” (Proverbs 18:24, NIV)

“The eyes of the LORD are on the righteous, and his ears are attentive to their cry” (Psalm 34:15, NIV)

Being a Christian doesn’t prevent rejection. Being single doesn’t prevent rejection. Being in a relationship or a marriage doesn’t prevent rejection. People will reject, make you feel less than, and offend you. But when we walk in Jesus’s love and acceptance, and when we understand that our purpose on this earth is so much greater than feeling good about ourselves we will begin to live a life that doesn’t allow rejection to be our identity. Jesus was rejected by His own people, the Jews. He died on a cross for people that didn’t believe He could save them. Even today he is being rejected by people He paid the ultimate price for. Let us take the example of Jesus and let an identity of love outweigh our identity of rejection. 


New International Version (NIV)

Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV® Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.


WomanhoodSara Rima