Finding Your Purpose in Marriage

 Finding one’s purpose is hard enough as it is…add longing to the equation and it becomes even tougher to figure out what God has in store for us. Life is a constant cycle of changing seasons. We begin as children with wild ideas and ambitious dreams, where we are then guided by adults shaking their heads with chuckles of our carefree and can-do mindset.

As we grow up, we realize how fast time goes from anxiously walking across a stage to receive a diploma (and freedom), to moving into more education - specialized - still working toward walking across another stage. Then comes the stressful season of career searching and for many, marriage.

    “To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven.” (Ecclesiastes 3:1, King James Version)

The moving between seasons is stagnant for a while, but then something can’t be denied - longing for something more.When God has placed you, as a wife, into a beautiful marriage and even a great job…is it wrong to want more? 

“I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all this through him who gives me strength.” (Philippians 4:11-13, New International Version)

In short, no. We do, however, need to recognize that our identity lies in our personal relationship with God and our purpose is to glorify Him by building His kingdom.

“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who[a] have been called according to his purpose.” (Romans 8:28, NIV)

Even when we long for a new job, a baby or simplicity in life, God has your timeline perfectly written and you can trust that your prayers are heard.

“What am I to do? I will pray with my spirit, but I will pray with my mind also; I will sing praise with my spirit, but I will sing with my mind also.” (1 Corinthians 14:15, English Standard Version)

But what happens when that something more does not come in the timing you had hoped and planned for? What purpose does God have for you then? Where does your identity truly reside in that in-between stage?

“Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” (1 Thessalonians 5:18, NIV)

God has it all figured out, even if you don’t.

“Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.” (James 1:17, NIV)

My cousin, 16 years old, recently posted about how she wants to be married by 22 and have two kids shortly after. I know we all had similar aspirations for our lives. I am now 24, married, living in an apartment and still trying to find my dream job. Life does not always hand us our perfect plans, but God rather hands us a journey of a life to be well-lived.

Remember that in this transitional period of longing, you can rest in the fact that your identity in Christ has not changed and your purpose is unwavering, even if the season you are in is changing ever so slightly to move you forward into the journey God has placed you on. 


King James Version (KJV)

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Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV® Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Permanent Text Edition® (2016). Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.


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WomanhoodKayla Elder