God's Design for Marriage

God has not called us to take a back seat in marriage.

 As women, we are often taught at a young age that relying on a man to do everything for us is how life was designed to be. Whether it be the classic fairytales we all cherish, the way culture presents marriage on television or even the way our parents display their relationship.

 Culture tells us there are womanly duties: doing the dishes, washing clothes, vacuuming, raising the children, making dinner and grocery shopping.

And there are manly duties: taking the trash out, changing oil, mowing the lawn, paying bills, planning dates and handyman items.

 God did not design marriage to be one sided. It is to be lived together in all aspects.

“She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness.” (Proverbs 31:27, New International Version)

God has called us to be strongholds in our homes and marriages; to not sit in the background. We were created with a voice, mind of our own and hearts of service in all areas. In fact, we were made from mans rib, coming together as one in marriage, forever equal in God’s eyes.

So how then can we, as the women of our households take initiative in marriage. It is often a misconception that men do not need the help…but they are just as new to the whole living with a spouse thing as we are.

Stepping in to make appointments, learning your way around financials and paying bills and even planning a romantic night out are some of the best ways to show your hubby you are invested.

This can be a bold task to take on no doubt, but allowing the fear of judgement or failure stop you from taking the first step can hinder you from a lifetime of full unity between you and your husband.

“For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.” (2 Timothy 1:7, New Living Translation)

Pulling this specific verse apart: Our timid nature and fearful mindset are not of God, but of Satan’s attempt to divert us. 

Instead, God gives us a spirit of power, love, and self-discipline. The power to step forward in marriage, the love to show your man you are dedicated to learning and serving in some of the same areas expected of him and the self-discipline to become fearless enough to carry out equality in all areas of your marriage.

“For I am the Lord, your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you.” (Isaiah 41:13, NIV)

We are not alone in pushing fear aside. Becoming brave in marriage starts with placing our trust in God. 

The next time you second guess your decision to step up in your marriage, have faith that God created you with equal authority over your household. Making decisions can be intimidating, especially in areas culture expects men to take on, but let us never forget our grand place in marriage…side by side, not idly standing behind.


Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV® Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

    Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.


WomanhoodKayla Elder