Truth, Love and the LGBTQ Community
Note: This article is an opinion piece that may not necessarily reflect the opinions of other authors or the publication as a whole.
We, as the evangelical church, are getting it wrong on how to love the LGBTQ community.
In middle school, I befriended a girl I met at Girl Scout camp. We were members of a four-girl
clique and we shared a couple summers together. In high school, we reunited and discovered we
still had a lot in common. She was kind, funny, intelligent and I enjoyed spending time with her.
One day, while we were discussing politics, she told me she was gay.
I told her, as a Christian, I believed homosexuality was wrong. She respected my opinion, and
we went on with our conversation like it was no big deal.
However, afterwards, I was unsure of how to navigate that aspect of her life and be her friend.
One day she invited me to the mall. I imagined her scouting potential girlfriends. The thought of
how I would handle that situation made me uncomfortable. At the same time, I was going
through a spiritual revival, and was trying to live out my faith in everything I did. I decided I
should end our friendship out of some sense of spiritual uprightness.
I told her very plainly over the phone that I didn’t know how to be her friend, so I wasn’t going
to be anymore. To this day, I don’t remember what she said in response. I do remember hanging
up and feeling self-satisfied. Not once did I consider her feelings.
Looking back, I’m absolutely devastated that I would do that to another person, much less a
friend. When I think of what I may have done to her, I fear the worst. What meant little to me
could have had immense bearing on her life. In this day and age of social media, I can’t find her.
I may never know the impact my words had on her, but I know I will answer to God for them
My actions reflected what I see today in the position of the evangelical church, specifically. We
truly believe gay and lesbian people deserve salvation, but we spend most of our efforts
supporting bans, boycotting movies and turning our backs on family and friends.
We apparently forgot that few people come to a relationship with God through hate. If we
actually loved on the LGBTQ community, it would look vastly different.
“But love your enemies, do good, and lend, hoping for nothing in return; and your reward will be
great, and you will be sons of the Most High. For He is kind to the unthankful and evil.
Therefore be merciful, just as your Father also is merciful.” (Luke 6:35-36, New King James
Christ’s words in this passage show a immensely different point of view, compared to the stance
I see the church taking. We want to be comfortable and content. We want safety and security. No
matter what it costs others. Earlier in this same passage, Christ said if someone stole from us, we
should not only not ask for our belongings back, but give the thief more. When we really think
about what this looks like, it’s shocking and counter-intuitive to American culture. We are an
individualistic society. We worship safety and comfort. How much more Christ-like would it be
to step outside our comfort zones in our own communities and say YES to shopping at the mall,
YES to lunch, YES to Bible study. Just as Christ did when He saved us on the cross.
Supporting bans don’t bring people to a saving knowledge of Christ. As a mother of four
children, I have never considered public restrooms a safe place. We take precautions to protect
our children wherever we go. And I believe in taking risks in order to bring people to a saving
knowledge of Christ. No matter how much we disagree with their lifestyles, gay people aren’t
our enemies. Their souls are far more important than my personal comfort.
As we live out our faith, God doesn’t need us to defend Him. If we put on the Armor of God,
seek His Truth, we can navigate the tougher aspects of ANY friendship with confidence. My
hope is that confidence in Him will allow me to freely share His love, and not hide behind fear.
I should never have rejected my friend. The damage I did to her and possibly to her relationship
with God is far worse than any discomfort I may have experienced trying to be her friend. I
should have been by her side at the mall: making her laugh, giving her hugs when she was sad,
sharing our favorite music. I lost out on that. I pray she didn’t lose out on even more. May God
forgive me for rejecting her.
I’ve seen Christians either reject homosexuals all together, or decide it’s not a sin anymore and
fully support them. Personally, I don’t think either of these extremes is correct. What is the
middle ground? What does loving in truth look like? I’m still trying to figure that out. But
meanwhile, I’m challenging myself to choose love first, and trusting God to work out the details.
Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed in this article are those of the author and may not necessarily reflect the official position of the publication. She Leads Daily exists as a platform to allow safe and honest conversations about diverse topics including faith, life, culture and womanhood.
The Holy Bible, New King James Version, Copyright © 1982 Thomas Nelson. All rights